Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work