Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
