just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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