He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
this boner is exhausting
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single