i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
