i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
