apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
