The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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