K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
