And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
send nudes
from the living room?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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