how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
