I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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