I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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