Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Operation Purity has been aborted
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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