i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
