you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
