I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
