Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
