Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
