oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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