In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
