Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I think my moral compass just broke
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
