If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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