I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
