The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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