im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
be right there i have to get my cape
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
