So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize