Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
