I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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