I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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