So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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