my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
