no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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