This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
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I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
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You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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