yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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