I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
