i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
