i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize