I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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