It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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