I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
