is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I FOUND THE LEGS
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
