Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
