Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
