This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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