she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize