The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
