I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
