Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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