So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
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I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
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I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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