My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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