It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
