Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
