it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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