I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
