from now on my penis is your penis
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
