That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
