He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
